An addiction is a problem most today face, which comes to you in many different forms and can change your life dramatically if a true fix isn’t sought. For many this addiction can be drugs, alcohol, cigarettes; or sex but I will mainly focus on the sex as this is a subject rarely discussed yet more and more couples are being caught up in the middle of the deceit a partner can bring to the relationship if nothing is done to change it.
Yeah, most of us who have had sex know how good it can be if you ever came across the sort of lover that aims to please, and does so successfully. That mind blowing, breath taking type of sex that has every inch of your body shaking and every hair standing up to attention in salute for such a great roll in the hay, and also keeps you speechless for minutes afterwards as you try to regain your composure; or wonder when you can go at it again.
Yes, that sort of love making is worth bragging about, but then the fire dies down, the passion fades and one of you is left behind wondering what happened. Certain circumstances can steer you away from the closeness and desire you once had for your partner and that is sometimes when the problem begins. You see the partner that experienced such great surges of pleasure is now desperately seeking it elsewhere. You may not have expected it to happen, but it does, and then you find out your lover is not only addicted to sex, but cheating on you every chance he/she gets to get that thrill.
The lieing now begins, and the nights at home alone are becoming more and more frequent as the other goes out on their sexcapades, all the while you are home completely clueless; and worrying because they don’t answer the phone when you call or text them. The last thing you want to do is think the worse, but these nights are becoming more troublesome, and you are trying your best to be understanding. Problem is the clues are now evidently clear.
If not clear enough, you are at least catching a few of the signs but evidently overlooking them because you somehow want this relationship to work and still see yourself as committed, but let me at least make it clearer. A sex addict can be easily detected if they exhibit any of the following signs:
• Compulsive masturbation
• Multiple affairs (if in relationship)
• Unsafe sex
• Phone or Computer Sex
• Consistent use of porn
• Prostitution or the use of prostitutes
• Obsessive dating through personal ads
• Sexual harassment at work or otherwise
• Molestation or rape
The term sex addiction is used to describe a person who has a distorted and obsessive sex drive. They think about sex all the time and can’t wait for the next encounter where they can take such high-risks, and soon don’t even care about the consequences of their financial or relationship status. All they desire is to get that next fix, but they can also seek help if need be. They can make excuses in a heartbeat about the why’s and sometimes can even blame the partner for their need to go elsewhere, but it is totally their problem. Only they can want to change, and no amount of arguing or pleading will ever change that.
If you are involved or know of someone who is involved with a sex addict help them seek help. Sex addiction doesn’t necessary make a person a sex offender, but it does ruin one’s life just like any drug or alcohol addiction. The person you are involved with suffers, and then there’s the risk of STD’s, which in itself should be highly regarded, especially if the one with the addiction has a spouse and children at home. Treatment in this sort of behavior focuses on controlling the addiction and helps the individual live a healthier sex life.
With treatment you can get counseling for family/marital issues. Individual counseling and support groups with 12 week recovery programs just like AA/NA. If any of the treatments above fail or you need that extras assistance they also have certain medication which they can prescribe for obsessive compulsive disorders and can sustain your compulsive nature, like Prozac and Anafranil. Like I mentioned before this is a treatable behavior, may take some time, but help can be obtained if you truly desire it.