How Do You Handle Things That Are Beyond Your Control But Cannot Be Ignored?
What do you do when you want to change something that proves to be beyond your control? How do you handle an unnerving, frustrating situation that causes stress, anxiety and depression? How can you remain persistent in your efforts, without running the risk of being called "a control freak"?
The fact is, the only things truly within your control are your own thoughts and actions. No one can deny you your thoughts, and it is you who is the master of your actions. Similarly, you can offer advice to others, but although you feel your advice is crucial and in everyone's best interest, only they can decided whether they want to take it.
Can We Ignore Things that Really Upset Us?
People claim that some things can’t be ignored. For example, how can a caring person ignore abuse when he or she witnesses an injustice? Playing ignorant isn’t going to make the injustice go away, but if you have done all you can do within your power to help the situation, then it’s time to let go of the responsibility before your own negative feelings become all consuming.
How Do Difficult People Take Control of Us?
When it comes to dealing with disagreeable, negative or toxic people we can try to steer them towards the right path; we can even bribe them to do so, but most often it is we who wind up allowing them to take control of our lives. Why does this happen? We allow them to play with our heads and our heartstrings. When we choose to take on the arduous (and impossible) task of changing who they are and how they act, we generate the frustration of our ineffectiveness.
What to Do When Something or Someone is Beyond Your Control.
Don’t become a person who tries relentlessly to manage the lives of others. Sometimes you win, but more often you lose the game, lose friends and wind up feeling responsible for any unpleasant consequences that may occur. Remember you can only go so far without feeling like you're beating your head against the wall. Instead of risking your own health and well-being, try one or more of the following methods designed for dealing with people and events that prove to be beyond your control.
When you don’t judge a situation, or blame people for doing something of which you don’t approve, you learn to accept what “is”. Things are what they are. Some things that we perceive as being “wrong” may be necessary before things turn “right”. There is great wisdom in the words “let it be”. Acceptance can be very powerful. It may even change the situation of which you don’t approve.
Let Go of Worrying
Worrying about things that are beyond your control is stressful, distracting and demanding. People worry because they fear the unknown. Unless you’re a darn good Psychic, you can’t predict the future, so don’t make yourself crazy over it. One exercise for letting go of the situation is to look deeply into the reasons for your worrying. If you worry about someone else, you may discover that the reasons you worry are about you rather than about the other person.
When we let go of worrying, we also let go of negative thinking. If you believe in the Law of Attraction, you know that negative thoughts attract negative situations. Try replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts and words.
There are two things you can do to distance yourself from a negative person or situation that is beyond your control. The first method is called “cutting the cord”. You visualize a cord going from your mind to the heart of the person or situation at hand. Then, using your index and middle finger as an imaginary pair of scissors, you cut the cord while saying, “I am no longer responsible for this person’s problems”, or “I am no longer responsible for the outcome of this situation”.
The second method is to tell yourself and key people involved in the situation that you have decided to step away. You still care about those involved and send them loving wishes, but you acknowledge that you have no power to make things happen.
Get It Off Your Chest
A good exercise for handling things that are beyond your control is to write to an imaginary friend, to the universe, or even to your blog readers explaining why you feel upset. Then take a deep breath, relax and write another letter or blog as a response to the first letter. You may be surprised to find that your own advice proves helpful. Your own inner wisdom is always available to you if you listen.
Get Back to Nature
Mother nature holds lots of secrets including the power to heal. You may already know about healing herbs and other natural methods of healing, but nature can heal emotional problems as well. Go for a nature walk. It doesn’t have to be in the woods or on a bucolic road. You can look out the window to watch the birds or gaze at the sky to contemplate the clouds or the stars. You can even close your eyes and imagine a peaceful, healing place of your own design.
Another way to freshen up your mindset is to meditate - not by thinking about your problems, but by focusing on the present and just being there. Meditation can help you step back from the drama, allowing you to view the situation as an observer rather than a participant. It’s another way to help you to look at things from a place of non-judgment. Try meditating on the life-cycle of a butterfly to awaken your knowledge that all life undergoes change and that we are all on our own personal journey of "awakening".
Take Control of Yourself by Giving Up Controlling
Hopefully, one or more of these suggestions will make you feel less responsible for things beyond your control. At the very least, you’re likely to feel less guilty at the outcome and calmer throughout the experience. There is great freedom in relinquishing control.